I am so exhausted. I don’t even know where to begin.

First I dreamed that I was feeling like restricted.  Felt caged up.  Then I felt like I was dreaming of myself with a loved one.  Like a partner or lover but specifically with a male.  I talked to him about Architecture and said I enjoyed all of this stuff.  I enjoyed talking about it.  Then later I find myself thinking of having this argument like he didn’t like the idea that I was talking to someone or making new friends about architecture.  I saw myself feeling bad.  I felt like since he felt uncomfortable about me sharing something new about a new subject with someone else, I started to feel his insecurity.  Something a part of was very conscious and said to that person, “Wait a minute, why are we making this a big deal?”  The figure started to get blurry.  I heard the voice “Chip” and a lot of more words….Along the lines of, “Why did you go with Chip? I don’t like Chip or Chet?”  Who is Chet?


So there you go my dream.  Who is chip/chet?  The only person I know who is Chet was that guy that cheated with Elizabeth on BK . Strange dream.

If this dream is significant, then it could only mean that BK at this moment at this time is dreaming about me.  He is telling me he is insecure and doesn’t like the idea that I am learning something new.


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In this dream, I arrived at a house where there were men in my family.  My uncle Chris, my dad and there were more but my dad and chris stood out the most in my dream.  It felt like they were watching a football game.  I remember some guy took me to the bedroom and gave me seawood, crackers and more.  We ate it and then did the same in the living room.  Then instead of all the men watching football, they were all watching the sky.  The moon started to get brighter and brighter. Large and plump moon.  The men became all excited.  I was kind of weirded out about it.  I felt like someone took my arm and said look at a different perspective.   I was able to see from outside but this time like looking back at another direction.  The moon was large and I saw a white glowing thing front of it.  I said to myself, “aliens”.  Then someone touched me and I was back inside the house and everything looked normal again.  Then I saw my Uncle Chris picked up his cellphone and I heard him talk to my Aunt.  I couldnt hear my Aunt talking but I already knew telepathically what she wants him to do.  She wanted him to write the things they were thankful for about their lives together.  I said to myself, “Cute.  They are such a cool couple.”  I looked at one of the men and I saw SS saying I want to go home.  I told everyone in the house, if she is going home, I wanna go too.  They said okay go right ahead.  Then I said, “I gotta go bathroom first okay?”  They all said go right ahead.  I went to bathroom and returned and then was ready to leave.   I WOKE UP.



I went to a meditation class.  I thought it would be cool to meet other people who are like minded and just meditate together.  What I found interesting is that the group I met were psychics.   Well?  I never considered myself psychic or a medium   either.  I never came about to talk about it out loud at all to anyone and use PSYCHIC or MEDIUM and labeled myself this way.  I basically only knew that I understood meditation through my ThetaHealing classes and also practicing.

The person running the meditation group was a psychic/medium.  She was both.  When she first saw me, she knew exactly who my Grandmother was. I never had to give her ANY information.  She knew some details that only my family knew.  She also didnt know my last name.  She just took a look at me and talked about my Aura and she stated, “You are a medium and psychic.”  I laughed at myself.  LAUGHED at myself.  The moment she said that, I was with disbelief.  How in the world could I be a MEDIUM?  I have a problem with talking to dead spirits or entities.  I cant actually see myself doing what Mediums do.  So I laughed.  The person who came with me was LAUGHING hilariously because he knew that I was not comfortable with this.  For months he has told me that I am a MEDIUM.  He also said that he sees me doing this.  AND THIS was months ago and he reminded me over and over again.  YET!  I was adamant and said NO WAYS i will do this.

What is that belief?  I dont know if it is a belief.  I am not afraid because I know God is always with me.  I think I am afraid of not being able to know what is going to happen to me.  I want to be SAFE.  This is just being afraid of the unknown.

So weeks before I visited this meditation class, I did notice some new things about me.  I notice movements around me.  Like a hazey movement of blurs, sometimes shadows, sometimes just clear blurs or white balls transparent light. Sometimes color balls of light of red or blue.  I see them more when the lights are on. It takes effort for me to sit still and realize it clearly.  At times its quick when I least expect it.   I ignore them.  Once when I paid attention, it made it’s existence when it made my phone call END when I saw it with my own eyes.  A bright orb that moved quickly.  I also started an experiment sometimes where I allow my ears to listen carefully to everything.  I can make out a humming sound, sometimes behind that humming sound, I hear singing, crying, talking and whisper. I know I am not crazy.

Whoever you are reading this blog of mine right now.  Maybe you think Im crazy or out of my mind.  It’s okay.  It is hard to really understand this if one has not really make an awareness.  I am still learning.  I am still getting use to this.

As for being a Medium?  I dont know what that really means to me.   Its still hard for me to believe if it is true.  Even though it is true, do I really want to be like this?Do I really want to communicate? Once I cross over to accept such a gift, will I change or still be the same person?  Will I be happier?  Will my life improve?

So the question is,

What will you do if you can finally see the dead walking around?

Will I freak out? Will I cry?  Will my heart race and will I scream? I even had dreams when people that I knew died, use to give me visual images. They become prophetic or just plain messages.  There were times where I scared myself in these dreams and ask, “Hey you are not suppose to be here. Why are you here?”

I have a ritual now before I go to sleep.  I ask Creator to send entities that are without serving me any purpose to Creator’s light.   Then…one night I skipped this and I dreamed of strangers that I do not know who are trying to tell me something.  What am I going to do with that?  I dont know if I am really the right person or not.  Not sure.


I didnt believe it before.  But I know with my own experience this is actually real.  Telepathy is true and real.  I experienced it with CMS/JHK.  Same person.   What an amazing thing.  I think humans are capable.  Hahaha.  Those of you who are reading this now are probably thinking, “Kuckoo” . Has she gone crazy?  Well, its okay if you say that.  I can only know from my own experience.  I cannot convince you.  I type this out NOT for your entertainment.  It is for me to log and look back.



The last time I just let myself go and listen. I heard, “you exist”

Then I remember something that I really dont like.  I dont like to manifest things.  My head is powerful and I know I can manifest good and bad things.  So I will not manifest the bad thoughts.


I had a dream that I dont remember.  Not sure yet what it was.  I wish I remember to type out my dreams.  I stopped because I hurry out of bed now a lot lately.

I think my last dream was about being a teenager.  I felt like I was a teenager and I was pregnant.  I was in denial being pregnant.  Hmmmmm  IS THIS A BLOCK?  Maybe….I need to dig.  Denial and the feeling of disappointing my mother.  That is what I remember.

Well it is time to stop this blog and time to get to my nightly meditation ritual and go to sleep.