I have quite a few favorite people in my life. One of them, which hurts my heart every time I think of him is Massimo de Favari. I know we have spent years without interaction. We also do not speak to eachother anymore. He is still one of my Favorite People in this world.
He claims we are friends. Yet on Twitter he never says How are you? Or even comment LIKE A FRIEND. He always comments with opposing statements like, What about Cholesterol? Or Absolutely Fake. There is nothing friendly when he does try to interact with me. Oh well.
I never thought of trying to get back to the way we were years ago. I never wanted to change the life he has built today. All I ever wanted was to get to know him as the person he has become today. But there is no chance. He only makes me feel like I’m a stranger. It’s ok because I respect his free will. If he doesn’t want to associate with me, I will disappear just to make the awkwardness stop. I don’t want to cause any uncomfortable situations for him. I don’t believe I should be the assertive one to push myself to be his friend because every time I try, I get the feeling he wants me to know I’m the last person he worries about. He says he’s busy all the time. I think that has always been his dialog even the last moments I spoke to him years ago. I’m use to feeling insignificant & unimportant by him.
We were best friends before. His thoughts and opinions mattered to me. Till this day….it still does.
My only regret is we no longer can have a normal conversation. Too many sensitive issues…unkind gestures or even a hint of awkwardness.
I wish him well. No matter what…I told him years ago, “I will never forget you.” Also, if he is reading this….again don’t assume that I want to disturb your current life….you must know: I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVE YOU. I dont want him to think that I expect us to be the way we were. Only because I dont want to make him unhappy with what he has now. Don’t get me wrong. I do not hate him. For some strange reason, he makes me feel like I am not worthy of his time. Its possible he doesnt plan on doing it, but what can I do? His actions is what I only measure. I can only feel that he wants me to back off. Because I care about him, I will take a million steps back.
I will only imagine the smile and the happiness that I remember from you. Please keep it this way.
God Bless You MassimodeFavari.You have many gifts to share with many. If you are ready to give me the friendship that you equally give to your other female friends, let me know. Until then…I will just accept the fate that this is the way it is between you and I.
God Bless You MdF.